Raging
Thoughts
Raging thoughts
fly across the room.
Betrayal, deceit,
anger, jealousy, prejudice.
The thoughts are
not processed, but applied with bluntness.
A sledgehammer
of mental anguish,
a cacophony of
psychic screams,
a blinding fireball
of disharmonic thoughts!
Why do they, how
can they, who do they think they are!?
This is what the
thoughts yell for.
Yet I know.
The thoughts cover
the logic,
cloud it like a
mist,
I can see it ahead
yet not quite make
out its shape.
Realization is
not a revelation.
For even as my
better judgement steps in
I know the hate
is still there,
I know the jealousy
is still there,
I know the self
pity is still there.
Growing stronger
and meaner and all the more resentful.
And then the pin
drops.
I lash out unthinkingly
Unfeelingly
Subconsciously,
Unaware of the
consequences.
Then the mist lifts
And the rage is
engulfed by guilt.
Why did I, how
could I, who do I think I am?
To control your
rage is to control your fears,
And I am still
afraid.
(C) Copyright 1999
CRAIG PARKES
All Rights Reserved
