scribble net
SEPTEMBER 1999
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IN THIS SECTION
* Overview of September
* Special Feature : Words and Music
* Fort Worth Poems
* Sites to see.
OVERVIEW
Folk may
be wondering why the net review is taking so long, and the moderator is
being so quiet. There are several very good reasons for the delay. Not
the least that there were 378 messages through Wordlovers in the month
of september, and most of them were poems, many of them very very good
poems indeed !
Scribble
on the Net has had over 2,890 visitors since March and seems to have generated
a good deal of interest and many emails. This is a rather wonderful
thing to have happened, but it all takes a lot of sorting and assessing.
There's had to be reassessment, standards are constantly being pushed higher,
simply because more is in fact being achieved. But for all that, no one
wants an elitist site or mail group. That way lies boredom.
The site
is large. Dragon of Nexus is generous. Never the less space itself is not
never ending. As we approach the 'fin de siecle' and the end of the year
we find ourselves looking at a whole new set of potentials and a whole
new set of challenges to our standards.
Standards
and principles, there's an old fashioned thought, and one that I'll leave
with you to think about as you shape your verses and your minds, and with
them our lives. For make no mistake, poets work at the mine face of language,
and as we seek the 'perfect word' to express what we are on about we are
shaping the very tools of thought. Folk may not have read us, or heard
our names, but what we do will and has influenced the way they express
themselves and thus the way they think. One has only to understand the
connections between the songs we half sing under our breaths and our expectations
of life and the world around us to get this point sharply.
ON THE NET
A quiet search
of the net for New Zealand Poetry, using the Copernic search engine, brought
up both King and Bowden before it brought up Bill Manhire. I'm not sure
what I think of this, but it surely says something interesting. Scribble
itself turned up in sixth position which is considerably ahead of where
it was some months ago when such a search ended in a weary sigh. This time
Nexus/prose also featured near the beginning of the search results.
SPECIAL FEATURE
Tristan
Jakob-Hoff
Many of you
will remember this poem by Tristan Jakob-Hoff, posted earlier in the month.
It was his first on the wordlovers group - though not the first I had seen.
on
we marched towards the sun,
our way
ahead unclear,
the road
ahead began to fade,
but still
we tramped on our parade,
we made
no bones, we closed our eyes,
we lived
our lives without a sigh.
It's a good
poem, one that leaves a taste in the mouth and a vision in the head. When
I asked Tristan if we might publish this, it turned out that it was one
of three poems. It was also part of a composition. I remember Nate Cull
in the echo sending music with his poetry. So I had Tristan send me the
poems and the midis. I hope (with a little help) to be able to make the
midis available on the Scribble Site, download able - but hopefully not
'sounding forth' automatically. This is another development of an experimental
theme and one which I find very exciting.
Tristan's
music is to have it's premier later this month in Auckland. Congratulations
Tristan !
FORT WORTH
The Fort
Worth shootings in Texas produced poetry from both Alys and Jeremy - from
different vantage points of course - both poets found the event profoundly
moving. Alys posted three poems and a fragment..
Fort's
Worth:
weave for
me roses,
soft autumn
roses
white in
the maiden hair
weave for
me roses,
white bruis'ed
roses,
soft in
the still twilight air.
This caused
some interesting debate, especially about the middle section. 'Fragment'
came out of some constructive criticism by Loadstar but still did not fully
address her very valid points.
Oh
! They were praying,
did he pray
too?
One mate
for me,
One mate
for you?
oh wait
for me,
I'm dying
too.
Feedback in
the list
Wordlovers,
on the whole, produces a good deal of feedback and conversation about the
poems. The atmosphere is relaxed, but the commentary can be stringent and
probing. This was one good example of the experience and its results. So
was For Cassandra: which responded to a private query. Not all feedback
has to come through the public echo. This feedback produced a new poem.
Again, somewhat raw, but then - how much is really polished about such
terrors and incidents.
death
shall not come nigh me
in this
deadly strife.
age shall
have no sting now
where the
gentle noseless icon,
powerless
to stay,
weeps tears
of stone unbroken,
powerless
to pray.
Jeremy Stringer
posted 'Untitled' with the note: "I do not condone, for any reason,
the killing of one person by another." The centre of his poem was the question
of responsibility, and community.
What
is love, peace, respect?
Who're the
ones that will be next?
The nation
of the living dead,
Doth fill
the living with blackest dread;
a question that
was, interestingly, presaged by Mark Rossi in his commentary on the Columbine
'Incident' in which he said, "I am sorry to say that that tragedy will
not be the last one of its kind in America. Our family unit is very much
weakened by extreme materialistic consumerism."
Finally,
from Alys again.. Soughing Song, Fort Worth, which attempts to understand
what such an experience may be for a survivor. Perhaps even what 'survival'
may mean in these circumstances.
the
last thing I saw was her falling,
her silver
hair light as a pall,
like a birch
in the sweet winds all shaken,
scythed
down by the reaper of all.
SITES WORTH
SEEING:)
Chiasmus:
Site of the Month.
Outside of
Scribble itself of course, wordlovers have seen and found some amazing
sites. Sharing them is part of the fun. Perhaps the most entertaining,
delightful - and inspiring, was found by Terry
Dr. Mardy
Grothe published NEVER LET A FOOL KISS YOU OR A KISS FOOL YOU in July of
this year. The title is a good example (and explanation) of Chiasmus. The
site is exciting - not just in terms of information and definition -
but in entertainment, and in the marvellous reviews of great speeches,
great exponents of the art of chiasmus. Politicians such as Sir Winston
Churchill and J.F. Kennedy are analysed in depth. If you can't visit, borrow
the book from your library as soon as it becomes available. You'll enjoy
it so much you won't realize how well you are being educated.
Another Site
worth visiting and bookmarking was found by Ray Pacello.. it is a handbook
of Rhetorical Devices, a search engine by Robert Harris, Professor of English
at Southern California College in Costa Mesa, California. This is
not so marvellously entertaining, but it is full of intriguing and fascinating
ideas. I found it enjoyable and useful. When, and if, we ever put up a
set of Technical Links on the resources pages these two sites will
be there.
a
handbook of Rhetorical Devices.
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SCRIBBLE
ON THE NET
2nd major
award
When you
have a web site, it is all too easy to pick up awards. One of the tricks
of the trade is to give out awards for web sites to display, which are
in effect links to the award-givers' pages. Something like a free advertisement
that you unwittingly provide.
So it is
not easy to distinguish the genuine awards of merit from the thinly disguised
requests for you to advertise somebody else's site. A hallmark of a genuine
award is when it is offered by an organization that is already so successful
they don't need
to advertise,
and don't even provide an opportunity for your site to link to them.
Such are
the recent awards to SCRIBBLE on the NET at http://www.nzscribble.net
Two major
search engines, at www.aol.com and www.netscape.com have recently highlighted
SCRIBBLE as "Editor's Pick" and "Editor's Choice" respectively. Congratulations
to the poets, and special congratulations to Alice!
To see what
I mean try clicking on the link below
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PART II : THE POETS'
WORK
In this Section
* Changeling
* Loadstar
* Ray
Changeling
has
produced yet more mesmerizing work, especially at the beginning of September.
Who can resist these inexorable, peaceful lines - who can cut them ?
We
watch the heavens in quiet jealousy ,
secretly
hoping ,
that the
winds of time ,
blow as
true as we are told,
shunning
all thought ,
of the tattered
edges of the reapers dark cloak ,
onwards
, upwards ,
eternally
hoping ,
for a peaceful
end ,
to our mortal
coil.
or even this
quiet introduction to 'Limbo'
"In the
darkened corners of the untapped mind , there are no absolutes.
No absolute
good , nor bad......merely an excusable grey area."
as
though stunned by time ,
a cosy arrangement
,
with the
brain ,
a time-share
of the mind ,
with service
that lacks spontaneity ,
This is tantalizing
work, fascinating as something half formed, emerging under our gaze. I
find myself wondering when we are to see more.
Loadstar
posted four
poems, and demonstrated not only her always fascinating range of interests
but her ever increasing skills. From The Guest which is delicate, evocative,
sensuous and understated:
Behind
spring skin,
Delicious
beneath man's kiss.
Summer licks
her breast,
to the crowing,
glowing chortle which is ' Love's kiss'
I
desire my man,
To gift
me the
anatomical
juxtaposition
of two obicularis
oris muscles.
to the monumentally
dignified, saddening description of New Zealand's greatest maritime disaster,
the H.M.S. Orpheus
Sand
moves, ring the changes,
The Orpheus
follows old charts,
Ropes of
sand grasp her firmly,
Quiet seas
whipped by rising winds,
Have snared
this horse of the sea.
to the delicate,
insightful, shifting shadows and the sense of drawing, tracing understanding
something held in deep and innocent respect in 'answers'
Fetch
breath,
A vision
born,
Beginning
with humility,
An inkling,
an idea,
Operation
of intellect.
It grew
and blossomed,
Became all-encompassing.
So idyllic......
To the brutal
Purity of
Transport
my dreams,
Bathe me
in wine,
Purify my
nightmares,
For all
time.
This was a body
of work, a month to be proud of. Loadstar's Complete Works can be
found at her site. http://www.loadstar.prometeus.net/ in a section entitled
Poetic Justice.
Ray Pacello
Is a delight.
Prolific, variegated, full of pith. His experimenting and his growing is
a privilege to share. Some of what he has written has been outstanding.
It is hard to imagine that only a few short weeks ago Ray was a 'beginner'
for whom the forms and formulae were obscure. For example, The Beginning:
Back,
again, to where we all started,
For my soul
hath heretofore been departed.
marked the beginning
of a surge forward. He has been willing to try new things, for example
in using free form verse and in revealing intimate and painful truths.
As if losing the 'formula of verse' made him more vulnerable, took away
the protection of the formality of oratory. Technically unsound, emotionally
powerful.
In
her womb I was fed.
Little did
I know what was to come,
In my heart
and soul I would consider her dead
From my
starvation for love went awry
My growing
years filled with torture and pain
Her mental
abuse worse than any welt.
My self-worth
regained by food.
When the discipline
of technique and the depth of emotion marry we can look for something both
profound and explosive from this young gentleman. Ray is playing in the
most educational and strength giving way - and these 'word games' mind
games have a kind of delicacy that is most enjoyable.
***CONSCIOUS***
Delightful
dream
Splendid stream
Resonant ream
Meaningful mean
Sonorous scene
Timeless theme
Capacious
cream!
Terry's format
of the poem reveals just how much can be added - or perhaps can be 'brought
out of' words by their arrangement on the page.
Ray has special
talent in writing short pithy verses with a load of atmosphere. Look at
this lovely strutting 'Ditty',
Sing
loud. Sing proud.
Sing long.
Sing strong.
Whatever
you do though,
Don't sing
the same ol' song!
and here, tiny
and dynamic in the, 'The Paradox'
In
a sense we live two lives,
Simultaneously,
not at death.
A paradox
of bated breath,
And only
one that survives.
His longer poems
have an entirely different atmosphere, for example in FURY he expresses
a kind of surging out of his corner, a harangue that is quite refreshingly
undignified.
You
cannot hold me down!
Does that
make you frown?
Sorry, 'tis
certainly true
I have a
law degree too!
As a contrast
he achieves breadth and beauty in THE COMMON UNCOMMON.
Benign
is the eye,
Forgiving
is the heart,
Limitless
is the mind,
Splendid
is the soul,
Brawny is
the body,
May each
one of us,
Remember
not what,
But who
we are.
while in these
lines there is a tender observing quality which makes the reader fear to
spill a singe drop:
A
simple word,
And its
tenor.
Dives deep
Out of shallow
enter.
This talent
was presaged some time before in the engaging reflection of THE CLOUDS
The
sea of clouds mimic the land in white,
Against
the backdrop of the sun they shine bright.
Clouds are
sometimes viewed as a dismal thing,
I see them
atop for the thoughts they bring.
or another small
verse,
To
and fro,
Shout the
oceans of time.
Ebb and
flow,
Whisper
the streams of mine!
The small verses,
sayings and saws pour out, a constant encouragement and pleasure to those
who are reading wordlovers daily.
Wake
up that ol' soul within,
It has slept
too long.
Let the
rebirth begin,
'Tis time
to be strong!
Perhaps I am
growing sentimental. For me the high point' of Ray's month was the simplicity
of ADORATION
Heart
like a rose,
Soul like
water,
Spirit sprouting
free.
It can only
be her,
It can only
be she!
The Parlance
of the Heart, and its companion piece, the Palace of the Mind were strong,
visually powerful images of inner human workings. Parlance is such a special
favourite of mine that I have trouble selecting a single verse as an example.
The
parlance of the heart
Speaks not
of ration, rhyme or reason,
But unclips
the wings of your inner season!
Similarly with
the Palace:
The
boundless walls cry out for more,
Taunting
with thoughts of what's in store.
The furniture
'tis not always soft and sleek,
Sometimes,
inside though, you feel quite meek!
The ceilings
rise to the immediate reaches of your soul,
Imposing
that continuing weight of another coveted goal.
But beside these
more thoughtful and balance versed there is poignant, wrenching poetry.
Your
welcoming face drowned,
Your happy
eyes trapped under constricting pain,
Your body's
bedrock soft and sedative,
Your heart
dimly jaded,
Your soul's
well exhausting drop by drop,
Your tenacious
tenor feeble and meek.
Hello! Are
you there?
Somewhere?
Anywhere?
yes Ray. When
you recall us to ourselves we are indeed 'here'.. listening with open hearts
and minds. You have come a long way in a few short weeks.
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